HERBIE: Ruby and I live in a nice house. Our humans are good, they feed us, let us out to poo when we bark at the door, take us for walks and snuggle us.
But there’s also this:
That’s right, they have a whole collection of cats. 3 of them, I think. I don’t know, I lose count. They like to lie around, jump on things I can’t jump on, and generally cause trouble. The humans seem to find them utterly adorable, which I can’t understand — what’s cuter than me?
I take it upon myself to enforce proper behavior with the feline members of the household. I guard their food so they don’t overeat and bark at them when they’re having too much fun. I don’t know why the humans don’t like it when I’m on duty as Cat Enforcer…I’m doing them a favor!
As for the official roster, there’s the Weird One, who likes to chew on people’s hair and lie around on squishy pillows:
The Lazy One, who has the best behavioral record and too many toes but almost no dignity:
And the…GAH! The Scary One! Yikes, I feel bad for the person who took this photo. This one likes to talk back to me when I try to put her in her place.
So, that’s about all of them, I manage to keep them in line…wait, what? What…hang on a second…since when? Why wasn’t the official application run by ME, the CAT ENFORCER, first?!
SINCE WHEN IS THERE A NEW CAT IN THE HOUSE?!